Tall Dating & Relationships

Tall Girls & Dating: Heels or Not?

Do you know how many men I have dated who were taller than me? One. He may well have been taller than me (he was 6ft5, I’m 6ft2) but his inability to tell the truth and remain faithful eclipsed any benefits I experienced dating him as a tall man. My other relationships have all been with men around 6ft or 6ft1 so I’ve never really had the luxury of dating a man significantly taller than me.

I’m not alone. Most tall women have dated men equal to or shorter than themselves and if (like me) you have passion for high heels, then there is an issue that is rarely discussed:  Do you wear flats around your man to make him feel more comfortable?  Does it emasculate him if you wear heels making yourself a few inches taller? If you choose to wear heels, aren’t you risking the ridicule of friends and strangers if you’re a couple of (barely perceptible) inches taller than your boy?

I’ve had good friends make comments (usually male friends) and asking why I’m wearing heels around my (not-massively tall) boyfriends. Even my dates often behave slightly strangely on occasion if they aren’t sure whether I am looking them squarely in the eye or not – but only in public. In private this is never an issue.

There are many tall celebrities who have succumbed to this secret pressure: one of Nicole Kidman’s first statements following her divorce from Tom Cruise was “Now I can wear heels again!” (was a heel ban included in the pre-nup agreement?) and ex-supermodel Carla Bruni has only been seen in heels once since her marriage to the Napoleanesque President of France, Nicolas Sarkozy last year. Even ultimate fashionista L’Wren Scott wears flats with amazing evening dresses to attempt to re-dress the balance between her and Mick Jagger (although with a 10 inch height difference between the two, she might be fighting a losing battle).

Carla Bruni in some of her many flats

As I couldn’t find any stylish heels until my early 20’s, I didn’t wear heels for the first 23 years of my life. I now wear heels almost every day. Even my weekend casual footwear is a collection of wedged suede boots. I LOVE heels. I believe that it doesn’t make any difference to the perception of my height to others - they’re all still looking upwards from their 5ft6 vantage point - but heels make me look and feel better.  Incidentally, I had phemonenally more success with boys after the age of 23 than before.

So, should the next boy I date be less than 6ft2, should I yield, abandon my hot high heels and wear flats? On the contrary, I firmly believe it would emasculate any man if a woman he dated STOPPED wearing heels on his behalf. Would we not be assuming that he is not secure enough in his masculinity to deal with such a trivial difference? And wouldn’t this be a step on a slippery slope.. would we dress differently for a man? Change our hair for a man? Have plastic surgery for a man!? (I have one friend who had breast implants for her boyfriend – he paid for them!) I think not. If we changed our footwear to suit my date, where would it stop?

My theory is also this: any man who asks me out, without question met me when I was wearing heels so surely if he was attracted to me at 6ft5, then he’s not going to suddenly find me more attractive if I’m wearing flat shoes and walking like a flat-footed platypus (this is how I feel when wearing them, incidentally!).

What do you think? Do you avoid wearing heels around your man if he’s shorter? Or would you rather upgrade your man than downgrade your heels?

Note: When I mentioned I was writing about this subject to my mother (5ft10), she commented on how flats were no good if you wished to intentionally stand on your husband/boyfriends foot when they are behaving inappropriately in public – apparently heels are far more effective!

It’s one of the most observed issues surrounding tall women: Should you date significantly shorter men?

Personally, I’ve never bothered to read those articles in the past as I don’t recall a time when I have ever been attracted to a much shorter man. AT 6ft2, I’ve had dalliances with men of 5ft10 and possibly 5ft9 when I was a teenager, and I’ve dated men of 5ft11, 6ft and 6ft1 far more than I’ve dated men of 6ft5 and above but what about proper ‘short’ men? It’s never really crossed my mind, until the other day….

Following a friend’s party recently, I’m now racked with a gigantic schoolgirl crush on one of the sexiest men I think I’ve ever met.  He was so much fun, so hot I nearly fainted and had a body that could make you think that skinny dipping in the Thames in Spring was a great idea (don’t worry, we didn’t).  And to be honest, it wasn’t so much a case of ‘You had me at hello….’ like the movies, since his first words were  ‘F*!k me, you’re f*****g massive’ (a line usually guaranteed to ensure the cold shoulder from me all evening).  However, when he was maybe 5ft7 and I’m 6ft5 in my heels, he might have had a point.

Short man/tall woman couples are all over the media, even more so since Sophie Dahl started dating Jamie Cullum.  So, why are shorter men attracted to tall women who only accentuate their lack of stature?

Several studies have investigated whether height is  a major factor of attractiveness to the average man and almost all of them have found that it is definitely not .  Whilst supermodels are almost always over 5ft9, singers and film stars are often far from statuesque.  Much of the earlier research seems to suggest that  tall women are not more physically attractive than their shorter friends but are perceived as more glamorous and prestigious.

Therefore, to the extent that tall women are preferred as mates, it is probably so that the man can show her off as a hard-to-acquire status symbol, like a Lamborghini. If you’re honest with yourself, you know that when you see a shorter man with a very tall girlfriend or wife, you do wonder just who the hell he is or what he has. It is possible that broadcasting his status in this way may also allow him to be taken more seriously by his male colleagues, friends and inferiors, and so to rise further in status: “Hey, that guy has a 6′ tall wife — he must be a real go-getter”.  And more importantly, parading around your tall wife is a far less vulgar signal of status than, for example, driving up in an obscenely expensive car or sporting tons of jewellry. Consequently, the man does not suffer a loss of reputation as he would with those other signals, and because it is less conspicuous, he is less likely to draw the jealous scorn of those around him. He will provoke class envy in them, for sure.

I was lucky enough to be sent to Monaco yesterday for my day job and I bizarrely ended up at a dinner party with 15 of the most beautiful, supermodel-thin, tall women and 5 older, very successful and much shorter men.  The men were more than enthusiastic about their taller wives and girlfriends and explained that it was almost the norm in Monaco and many have only dated women who were much taller than themselves. It seems the notion of tall women as a status symbol is definitely a reality.

So, the question still stands, do I choose to pursue a man significantly shorter than me? Or am I too tall for him? Maybe, as he’s not an international financier, film star or Formula 1 boss, he doesn’t find tall women attractive and doesn’t need the status boost.  As he’s not wealthy or famous (and those things have never been attractive to me), I’m guessing that I experienced proper sexual  chemistry and, alas, I don’t think there’s a cure for it.

Now, can someone just pop round and explain to him that I’m the next best thing to a Lamborghini except I’m more affordable and I handle better than a Murcielago….

I only have winter shoes. This never really conciously occured to me before and it’s quite a shocking discovery. I’m guessing it’s not because I have a phobia of any footwear in a bright colour, or that I mind showing parts of my feet in mules or sandals. I think it’s because I don’t see clothes like other women do. Clothes cover me up and, if I’m lucky, might make me look a little slimmer. When you’re 6ft2 and you’ve have a life-long fight to find anything to fit you, even a t-shirt, then fashion doesn’t really hold the same excitement for you as it does a 5ft6 girl. So summer clothes? No, I don’t have those either.

Anyway, since starting the blog I have got better - my wardrobe is no longer just filled with midnight blue jeans and navy trouser, a couple of more interesting items have found their way in. Shoes however, are a different matter.

I don’t know about you but summer shoes are things that elude me every year. In around April, I think to myself, ‘There’s lots of lovely summer clothes around but I don’t have any shoes to go with them. I should pick up some sandals and wedges’.  So I’m going to get some, I do some research, I even choose my favourites, and then I never get round to buying them.

My entire Summer months are commenced every morning with a choice between what I’d like to wear (linen trousers), and what I end up wearing (which is always sensible cords or jeans so I can wear them with some shoes I actually own).

The thing about most summer clothes is that they don’t go with your winter shoes. If you feet over a UK size 8 (US 10), then finding something summery to put on those big flippers is akin to finding a unicorn on Oxford Street on a Wednesday afternoon.

Well, thank your lucky stars that the girls over at Amazona Style are coming to your aid. For the next two weeks, you can pick up any of their summer sandals for half price (saving over £50 on many styles). Whether it’s blue or green, pink or metallic copper, they’ve got something to flatter you at Amazona Style. Flat Gladiators you’re after ? Or even some platform, heeled ones? You’d better be quick - they’re selling fast.

…if only!!

Firstly apologies to all those tall girls who thought all their Christmases had come at once reading that title. If I were Prime Minister, it’d be the first law I’d pass.

Now, I know I’m not the only tall woman to think there is a problem… What’s the deal with you half-grown, fairy-sized women taking all the big boys??   Why do you see so many tall men (I’m classifying this as 6ft3 and over for my purposes) dating short women?

Today I saw the latest pictures of Christina Ricci with her comedian fiance, Owen Benjamin, who, at 6ft6, saying he towers over her is a tad of an understatement.  Obviously, they are madly in love and well done them for finding each other in this cynical, transient world. However, it does also leave me furiously wracking my brains wondering why so often the phenomenon of massive–him/mini-her.

If you see almost any picture of a US NBA star with their wife (such as Kevin Garnett or Kobe Bryant, pictured here), they always seem to tower metres above.  Even our English rugby stars are the same – just take a look at Simon Shaw!

Kevin Garnett & Wife

As a tall woman you notice the same everyday in the street. Why is this? What is it that makes many very tall men date women so much shorter than themselves?  Aidan and Carrie – yes, it may be TV fiction but it’s everyday reality for us amazonian girls.

Kobe Bryant & Wife

Do petite women somehow make men feel more masculine?

Is is that us tall girls emasculate men? Or Intimidate them? If you’re a tall woman you will be told on an almost daily basis that you are ‘scary’ or ‘intimidating’ by some (usually male) stranger.  Quite why people feel this way, and also feel bold enough to tell me, confounds me.  Surely a very tall man is not intimidated by a tall woman? It’s not as though we are taller than them! (Generally!)

Well,  if this is the reason then you tall girls have to be thankful that you are not stuck with these way too metro-sexual, insecure boys. Quite frankly, any man who feels less masculine in my presence can remove himself from the vicinity and take some therapy.  I like my men to be secure in their themselves and their masculinity.

Maybe it’s simply that smaller women are easier to throw around the bedroom?

At 6ft2, I admit that there are not many men who have managed to throw me around the room in a moment of passion (some, but not many ) and considering I have often dated professional sportsmen, that’s saying something. However,  one of my male friends (6ft3) is adamant that tall men and very short women do not, ergonomically.. er… work either.

Is it some kind of subconcious, genetic correction in the mind of these short women that makes them pursue tall men?

Perhaps some short women, either conciously or subconciously, actively seek out and pursue these hero-sized men in a basic biological attempt to ‘improve’ their offspring ? (What man really resists when it comes to a woman being single-minded enough to get them?) With tall people being perceived as more successful, intelligent and earning more than their shorter colleagues, wouldn’t you want to increase your children’s potential by ..er.. marrying up?

On this point, I think a strong factor could be the determination of many a shorter-than-average woman. Many girls I meet who are more ‘shortie’ than ‘supermodel’ in their proportions are polished in the skills used to get what they want in many areas of life. Therefore maybe they are just using their feminine whiles to get those big boys.

Or could it be that tall women draw attention away from tall men?

Personally, this would be the reason I probably agree with most. Think about it. If you’re a very tall man or woman, then everywhere you go you attract attention. People are drawn to look at you. Now, if you have a very tall man and very tall woman together, I reckon the very tall woman would gain more attention since it is further from the ‘norm’.  Therefore, if a tall man dates a tall woman, he has to relinquish some of the attention that he is used to getting.

Whatever the reason, I wish some politician would pass a law stopping these altitudious, alpha men being snapped up by all those diminutive divas. Otherwise I’m going to have to admit defeat, marry a short man and have wedding photo’s that will look just plain ridiculous!

I’m young, free and single and I live in London (which my Welsh grandmother once described as ‘the place where everyone has always gone to have alot of sex with different people before they get married’).  I think I am at least vaguely attractive and I’m no psycho bunny-boiler – I know the rules of this sport. However, despite ONLY  joking to my housemates about hanging up my g-string and retiring from the game as there were no suitable opponents, it seem the universe may have taken me seriously.  Apart from one ‘game’ last December, I’ve been on the bench for over a year.

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Luckily for tall women all over the world, the first ever blog radio broadcasts (just for us) were launched in February. Tall Expression is an online Magazine for tall women but also hosts weekly radio broadcasts discussing tall issues. Founder Adrienne Williams’ aims were to have a place for tall women to express themselves and to find helpful information.

Tall Expression is a place for fashion, shopping tips, advice and information - a community. Like many a tall girl, Adrienne started the magazine after years of trying to find advice on anything from fashion to relationship issues for tall women, and finding very little:

“There are many issues surrounding our unique life experiences, dealing with dating someone taller or shorter than you—finding the right size shoe that is fashionable, and self-esteem issues from teen-to-adult and beyond. This is the place—the moment is now and Tall Expression is here for everyone who continues to see challenges in everyday life and a community where you can meet like-minded people just like you!”

Why don’t you check out Tall Expression and listen to their latest podcast interviewing Roy Parkin of Tall Genez - the first ever designer range of jeans, soon to be launched, which are available in up to a 45 inch inside leg!

Stuck what to wear on Valentines Day? Or do you suspect that your other half is still a little clueless as to what to surprise you with? Never fear, because here at Amazona, we have come up with a few pointers for the perfect Valentines’ accessories and a few hint-worthy treasures!

First things first, don’t be afraid to whack out your favourite red and pink accessories. Valentines is about over-the-top gushing romance, so keep your trusty LBD until next time (Check out the SATC girls!). However, here are a few guidelines to ensure that you don’t end up looking like a) a sugar-plum fairy or b) a big red devil! Keep that look for the glint in your eye!

1.    Don’t over-accessorise! If you can’t bear to part from your LBD, then match your shoes, bags and jewellery to the red/pink theme, but pick one colour, stick to it and remember that less is more!
2.    If you do branch out and wear a fabulous red number (such as , keep accessories plain and don’t mix too many colours.
3.    Dress for the occasion. Anything with a pink tutu, no matter how cute, will not look right in an expensive restaurant. If you don’t know where you’re going, then keep it neutral!

And as for the gifts? If you’re not the kind of girl that enjoys the traditional flowers and chocolate gestures, then here are a couple of ideas that you could drop into the next conversation with your guy! If you’re in a pretty serious relationship, then try this ‘Commitment’ necklace. Though if it’s a pretty new thing that you’re looking to heat up, then get straight to the point with this ‘SEX’ cherry necklace. Both available from Amazona Style.

photo credits: eonline.com

What is a girl to do?  When the man of your dreams is a lowly 5’6 and you gracefully stride towering above him at 5’10?   It a tricky situation, Nicole and Tom were vertically imbalanced and look what happened to them!  He turned into a nut job and she ran off with a cowboy.   Thankfully, for the leggy ladies whose heart has decreed that a short man is the one for them we have Sophie Dahl and Jamie Cullum.

The ultimate pin up girl for the taller women, Sophie Dahl stands tall at a clean 6’, Jamie, is a little less statuesque at 5’6…and yet, how happy they are.    It proves that love can conquer all.  She still wears heels, and he’s happy to have his head level with her assets!

Next time a shorter gentleman slides up next to you and you feel like talking down to him (literally and metaphorically), think about Sophie and Cullum…it could be you!

It’s one of the most observed issues surrounding tall women: Should you date significantly shorter men?

Personally, I’ve never bothered to read those articles in the past as I don’t recall a time when I have ever been attracted to a much shorter man. AT 6ft2, I’ve had dalliances with men of 5ft10 and possibly 5ft9 when I was a teenager, and I’ve dated men of 5ft11, 6ft and 6ft1 far more than I’ve dated men of 6ft5 and above but what about proper ‘short’ men? It’s never really crossed my mind, until last weekend….

Following a friend’s party on Saturday, I’m now racked with a gigantic schoolgirl crush on one of the sexiest men I think I’ve ever met.  He was so much fun, so hot I nearly fainted and had a body that could make you think that skinny dipping in the Thames in November was a great idea (don’t worry, we didn’t).  And to be honest, it wasn’t so much a case of ‘You had me at hello….’ like the movies, since his first words were  ‘F*!k me, you’re f*****g massive’ (a line usually guaranteed to ensure the cold shoulder from me all evening).  However, when he was maybe 5ft7 and I’m 6ft5 in my heels, he might have had a point.

Short man/tall woman couples are all over the media, even more so since Sophie Dahl started dating Jamie Cullum.  So, why are shorter men attracted to tall women who only accentuate their lack of stature?

Several studies have investigated whether height is  a major factor of attractiveness to the average man and almost all of them have found that it is definitely not .  Whilst supermodels are almost always over 5ft9, singers and film stars are often far from statuesque.  Much of the earlier research seems to suggest that  tall women are not more physically attractive than their shorter friends but are perceived as more glamorous and prestigious.

Therefore, to the extent that tall women are preferred as mates, it is probably so that the man can show her off as a hard-to-acquire status symbol, like a Lamborghini. If you’re honest with yourself, you know that when you see a shorter man with a very tall girlfriend or wife, you do wonder just who the hell he is or what he has. It is possible that broadcasting his status in this way may also allow him to be taken more seriously by his male colleagues, friends and inferiors, and so to rise further in status: “Hey, that guy has a 6′ tall wife — he must be a real go-getter”.  And more importantly, parading around your tall wife is a far less vulgar signal of status than, for example, driving up in an obscenely expensive car or sporting tons of jewellry. Consequently, the man does not suffer a loss of reputation as he would with those other signals, and because it is less conspicuous, he is less likely to draw the jealous scorn of those around him. He will provoke class envy in them, for sure.

I was lucky enough to be sent to Monaco yesterday for my day job and I bizarrely ended up at a dinner party with 15 of the most beautiful, supermodel-thin, tall women and 5 older, very successful and much shorter men.  The men were more than enthusiastic about their taller wives and girlfriends and explained that it was almost the norm in Monaco and many have only dated women who were much taller than themselves. It seems the notion of tall women as a status symbol is definitely a reality.

So, the question still stands, do I choose to pursue a man significantly shorter than me? Or am I too tall for him? Maybe, as he’s not an international financier, film star or Formula 1 boss, he doesn’t find tall women attractive and doesn’t need the status boost.  As he’s not wealthy or famous (and those things have never been attractive to me), I’m guessing that I experienced proper sexual  chemistry and, alas, I don’t think there’s a cure for it.

Now, can someone just pop round and explain to him that I’m the next best thing to a Lamborghini except I’m more affordable and I handle better than a Murcielago….