I’m young, free and single and I live in London (which my Welsh grandmother once described as ‘the place where everyone has always gone to have alot of sex with different people before they get married’). I think I am at least vaguely attractive and I’m no psycho bunny-boiler – I know the rules of this sport. However, despite ONLY joking to my housemates about hanging up my g-string and retiring from the game as there were no suitable opponents, it seem the universe may have taken me seriously. Apart from one ‘game’ last December, I’ve been on the bench for over a year.
As if this involuntary celibacy wasn’t bad enough, everyone else seems to be at it. Adult toy sales are on the up and Lingerie brand Agent Provocateur has seen a 26% increase in sales as staying in becomes the new going out; today’s Sunday Times Style magazine is all about ‘In bed with the Brits’; even the average British school child is watching 90 minutes of the naughty stuff on the net each week. Hell! It’s even been rumoured that the Sex & The City sequel is shooting in London this year! (SJP, don’t do it… maybe this celibacy nonsense is catching)
So, even if I could avoid the news, internet and television, I’d then get home and even there I am reminded of my drought - two of my housemates are seeing new people, hence they’re rolling out of the carnal sack and dashing home for a quick shower and change before heading to work most mornings AND permanently have that post-orgasmic smile etched upon their faces.
Despite being screwed by our Government in this recession, I seem to have managed not to succumb to the only upside of the credit crunch – er…. getting screwed more. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking for Mr Right.. Mr Right Now or even Mr Right-Ok-Then would do me just fine.
Who knew that sex would be my casualty of the recession? What am I supposed to make if I’m not making love? War?? Being a pro-active girl, I have decided to take matters in to my own hands… (No, take your mind out of the gutter).. As I think I may lose my sanity if this dry spell continues, I’ve decided to up my workout regime and to get an evening and weekend job. At least then I’d be too tired to even think about what my kiwi friends refer to as ‘jiggy-jig’.
p.s. If you know where the hot, buff and sporty men hang out these days.. Help me out! Answers on a postcard…..
{ 0 comments… add one now }